"That church called again for you," Tennyson said. "If you aren't interested, then you need to call and tell them so they can move on."
She was right. I knew she was right, but I also knew that this particular church wanted me. I also knew the package they would offer. Given the area of the country and the money that it would be, we would be...comfortable. What was even more tempting than that was that it was a solo pastor position. That was what I was supposed to do next, right?
The only problem was that I knew it wasn't where the Lord wanted us. The people were sweet, but I knew I wasn't the man for that church. The only reason I kept going back to the idea of pursuing that call was...security. It was a stable salary and I didn't have to raise support. The other opportunity that I felt more drawn to required me to raise support. I told myself that I didn't want to raise support because it was awkward and I don't like having to ask for money. Honestly, though, it was because I didn't want to trust the Lord to bring in the money.
I felt stuck between what I wanted to do and what was convenient. I knew I had to make a decision that evening: string the other church along...or...tell them that I didn't sense a calling to that position. Being the "quick decision-maker I am" (wink wink) I put off calling the elder back until after I had read to my son.
"I want to read this one," my son said, picking out one of my old Hardy Boys books that I had recently reclaimed from a box of my old things. I opened it, glad to read a chapter book, because I knew it would take longer. The longer it took, the later it would be when I called the elder back.
As I opened the book a one dollar bill fell onto my chest. At first I thought my son had played some sort of trick on me, but then I began to realize that he hadn't. I picked up the dollar and looked at the date on the bill...1985. When I was only 1o or 11 years old I had put the dollar bill in the book either as a book mark (or more likely) to hide it.
What struck me so profoundly was that 23 years ago, when I was 11 years old, before I even called upon the name of the Lord, God had me place that dollar in that book. What is even more amazing is that from the moment (even before that moment) I put that dollar in the book, the Lord had planned for me to open it at that specific time and find that money. I reasoned that if God's provision of that dollar for our support raising was 23 years in the making, then He had many more of those bills waiting to support a ministry calling. Where they will come from, I do not know. I do know, however, that they will come. That is what I learned that evening.
After I read to my son I called the elder back. I related to him that I simply didn't sense God's leading to that particular church. He was disappointed, but he understood. As I hung up the phone I felt better. I was waiting for Christ Community to extend a call to me, knowing full well that I would have to raise support, but I felt better. I felt better because I knew that the Lord was there and where He leads, He indeed does provide.
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